


Secrets and Sorrows

by snowflight



Category: Shugo Chara!
Genre: Eventual Romance, F/M, Fluff, Includes a kiss, Light Angst, Light Hurt/Comfort, Small time skips, i love them, soft
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-20
Updated: 2021-02-20
Packaged: 2021-03-17 10:48:50
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,050
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29591673
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/snowflight/pseuds/snowflight
Summary: Rima, Nagihiko, a song of magpies, and the ways unfailingly find themselves at each others' sides.
Relationships: Fujisaki Nagihiko/Mashiro Rima
Comments: 4
Kudos: 8





	Secrets and Sorrows

**Author's Note:**

> [Chinese translation](https://thenforestlight.lofter.com/post/31faf721_1cb9f77fa) by [thenforestlight](https://thenforestlight.lofter.com/).

According to an old superstition, when magpies are seen, their numbers will reveal what event their presence foretells.

 _One for sorrow_ _  
_ _Two for joy_ _  
_ _Three for a girl_ _  
_ _Four for a boy_ _  
_ _Five for silver_ _  
_ _Six for gold_ _  
_ _Seven for a secret never to be told_ _  
_ _Eight for a wish_ _  
_ _Nine for a kiss_ _  
_ _Ten for a bird you must not miss_

  
  
  


**_One for sorrow_ **

He doesn’t expect to bump into her afterschool like this. Basketball practice just finished and he was planning to go straight home. But before he can even make it outside of the school grounds, he’s stopped as he spots a lone figure sitting on the bench of the school garden. And then he notices that this silhouette is familiar, and soon he’s approaching the bench from behind and calling out the name that rises in his mind.

“Rima?”

His suspicions are confirmed when she turns around to face him, but the way she does so is slow, careful even, and for a second, he doesn’t know if he’s imagining the red tinge around her eyes and nose. An emotion flickers across her face as they lock gazes, but he doesn’t recognize what it is—surprise, dismay, weariness, or maybe something else altogether.

When she speaks, her voice is softer than he’s ever heard it before. “Nagihiko?”

“Shouldn’t the Guardian meeting have ended by now?”

“It did.”

“Then why are you...”

And then he notices how she sits with her knees drawn up to her chest, with her arms wrapped around them, and his words die on his tongue. He doesn’t know the answer to his question, but he doesn’t _need_ to know.

She pulls her knees just a bit closer to her body. After a few seconds, she says, “I just don’t want to go home yet. Things were bad last night.”

There’s a quiet resignation in her tone. He silently watches as she rests her face against her knees. 

Finally, he says, “Do you want me to leave?”

She doesn’t answer. Then, before he realizes it, a new question leaves his mouth.

“Should... I stay?”

The words come out haltingly, because he’s only familiar with stony stares and sharp words from her—not this new subdued, disheartened silence—and once again, he gets no answer. But then she then lifts her head up to meet his gaze and he glimpses the flash of pain in her eyes, and he realizes that she looks so vulnerable, so alone, one girl trying to bear the weight of all her sorrows.

She remains silent as he goes over to sit on the bench beside her. But he doesn’t miss the way she relaxes ever so slightly, her shoulders slightly loosening and a bit of the tension leaving her form.

And some time later, when she finally goes home, he also doesn’t miss the whisper that leaves her lips before they part ways.

“Thanks.”

  
  


**_Two for joy_ **

For an occasion filled with so much joy, graduation brings along with it an equal amount of bitterness, she finds. It marks not only the end of a long journey, but also the end of everything familiar as you leave behind your current life and step into a new one. And for her, it’s a bit too similar to the drastic change that recently swept through her family, and she just can’t ignore the poignant sting that it summons inside her.

But after the ceremony, as she finds herself in the company of the presence she’s grown used to over the past school year, she thinks maybe there are some things that won't change too much after all.

“So you’ll be attending Seiyo Junior High, too,” she says. It’s not quite a question nor a statement.

He turns to her with a smile, serene as always. As he speaks, she can detect a slight lilt of amusement in his tone.

“Well, that’s the junior high school that all Seiyo Academy students go to, isn’t it?”

She rolls her eyes in half-hearted annoyance. “I mean, you’re staying in Japan. You’re not going to leave for Europe and all that?”

At that, the teasing air of his smile fades, melting into resignation and maybe a bit of weariness. Maybe she’s not the only one who feels a bit conflicted about this time of their lives.

“I don’t know,” he says. “There are a lot of things I think I need to figure out before I can make a decision. So my future right now is pretty uncertain.”

In response, she lets out a small hum. Whether it’s from understanding or from acceptance, she isn’t sure.

“But for now,” he adds, “I’ll be staying here.”

She doesn’t expect those words to stir inside her something that almost feels like comfort, but they do, and she has to let out a small lofty huff before the smile can show on her face.

“You really can’t make up your mind about things, huh.” 

Her tone is not as aloof as it normally would be. He lets out a laugh in response.

“Nope, but good thing you’ll be here to call me out on my indecisiveness, right?”

And now she can’t stop the slightest of smiles from forming on her face as they continue to talk, as the two of them share a strange moment of reassurance from each others’ company in the face of the newfound uncertainty in their lives.

  
  


**_Three for a girl_ **

“When are you going to tell Amu about Nadeshiko?”

Her question catches him by surprise, because this wasn’t the type of conversation he was expecting her to initiate after the two of them were paired for after-school cleaning duty. It takes a few moments for him to recover from the suddenness of it before he can give an answer.

“I’m not sure.”

He’s never been sure. Even now, he notices the way that face lights up when Nadeshiko is mentioned, the way that heart is so full of fondness and love and trust—and every time, the thought of shattering it all leaves him paralyzed.

She softly snorts. “You’ve _never_ been sure about this.” 

A wry smile forms on his face. He can’t remember when she became able to echo his thoughts with so much ease. As he returns to sweeping the classroom floor, he hears her voice again.

“How long has it been since Nadeshiko supposedly left for Europe again?”

“Three years.” His answer is a bit more reluctant than he’d like it to be.

“Don’t you think that’s a bit long?”

“It is.” He can’t help the defeat from spilling into his voice. “But I just don’t know how I should tell her. Not when it’ll hurt her so mu—”

“How do you know it isn’t already hurting her?”

“What?”

“I mean, at this point, Amu hasn’t seen her best friend in three years. We’re in junior high now, and still, that best friend has barely reached out at all over these years.”

At that, he pauses to look at her. She doesn’t turn to face him, instead keeping her gaze fixed on the bookshelf in front of her as she organizes the stack of books.

“I’m just saying,” she says after a few seconds, “if you consider the fact that you’ve been _right here_ the entire time while hiding it all from Amu, I’m not sure if hiding the truth is hurting her less.”

Despite the indifferent bluntness of her words, he detects a slight edge in her voice. Something quiet but fierce, something that sounds like— 

_Concern._

_Concern for Amu,_ he realizes, and it comes with a bolt of understanding. Concern for that girl who’s so kind and so trusting, who would do anything for her friends, and whom he’s been deceiving for so, so long.

Quietly, he says, “I’m not sure, either.”

She glances at him. Then, wordlessly, she resumes arranging the books on the bookshelf.

  
  


**_Four for a boy_ **

“Sorry.”

“Huh?”

She freezes in the middle of placing the last book on the bookshelf, because the word left her mouth before she even realized. 

“About earlier.” She slides the book into its place. “What I said.”

“Oh.” He sounds slightly surprised. “Well, it was well-deserved, I think.”

“I agree.” She glances at him. “But it was also really sudden, and I was kind of pressing it.”

A small resigned smile flickers across his face. “You’re just worried for Amu, and I understand that. I _am_ hurting her by doing this.”

He’s right. She _is_ worried for Amu. She’s seen too often the doubt in her friend’s eyes when Nadeshiko’s mentioned, heard too often the defeated sighs that left her friend’s mouth. But at the same time... 

“You, too.”

“What?”

“I’m worried for you, too,” she says. Because she’s also seen the way turmoil so often filled _his_ eyes, the way every action and choice weighed on him so heavily—and she realizes that the concern she’s feeling is for _him_ as much as it is for Amu _,_ for this boy who will keep all his burdens to himself no matter the guilt or pain that come his way.

He doesn’t say anything, only gazes at her with his head slightly tilted, in confusion, perhaps.

“You’ll have to tell her the truth eventually, right?” she says, slowly. “And from the way things are going now, I don’t know how it’s going to turn out. But if it turns out badly, which it might...”

There’s a pause as she struggles with finding the right words. Then she lets out a small sigh.

“I _know_ you’ll take it hard on yourself,” she finally says. She has to look away. This disclosure of her thoughts, so plainly and openly, is still a bit too unfamiliar for her comfort. “And it’s not really going to be fun if both you and Amu get hurt from this.”

“Rima—”

“Even though it’s your fault in the first place,” she adds, for good measure, and steps back from the bookshelf. “Anyway, I’m done with this. It’s already four. I’m going to go now.”

“Oh.” He blinks, then glances at the clock by the classroom door. “Okay.”

“Bye.”

“See you tomorrow.”

And before she can fully take in his reaction or hear any more words from him, she grabs her bag and heads towards the door. But when she steps outside, she can’t help but linger for just an extra moment to glance back into the room. She isn’t sure if she imagines the way he looks just the slightest bit more at ease as he continues sweeping the floor.

  
  


**_Five for silver_ **

It’s rare that he sees her so content, so relaxed and at peace, but he realizes that when he does, it’s often when she’s eating a parfait. Maybe there’s something about the taste or the texture of the dessert that appeals to her in a way he doesn’t fully understand, but as she takes a scoop from the parfait in front of her, there’s a smile on her face that almost looks excited. 

Even though he only paid for both their parfaits the first time they did this, to him, seeing this might’ve been worth paying the extra five dollars all over again.

He takes a small scoop from his own parfait, the silver of his spoon digging into the reds and blues of the fruit, and leans back in his chair.

“I wonder if people will get the wrong idea from this.”

She glances up at him. “From what?”

“I mean, going out for parfaits after school is something that Amu and Tadase would do together.” He takes a bite, feeling the cold cream melt on his tongue, before swallowing. “Not us.”

She raises an eyebrow. “So?”

“Nothing. It’s just interesting how things turn out, I guess.”

“Hm.” With a small hum, she turns her attention back to her parfait and takes another bite. “But that’s not going to stop you from continuing to do this, right?"

“Nope.” He sighs in mock defeat but can’t help the small smile that makes its way onto his face. “We both know that you have too much against me for me to refuse.”

“Exactly.” As she takes another scoop, amusement dances in her eyes. “And considering the fact that you agreed to go with me each time, there’s no use pretending _you_ don’t enjoy the parfaits either.”

He lets out a small laugh. “I plead guilty.”

As they sit together, eating their parfaits, he realizes that he isn’t sure when all this happened, when the two of them developed this routine of going out for parfaits after-school. It began as an offhanded suggestion, a favour she asked of him in exchange for keeping his secret, and one that he jokingly accepted.

But now, a year later, they’re finding themselves going for no reason other than to enjoy the dessert, to enjoy the trip outside, and—and _maybe,_ he sometimes thinks, to enjoy each other’s company. Because through all the taunts and quips thrown out between them, he’s finding that there’s just... _something_ about the moments they share together that neither of them can place just yet.

They finish their parfaits at nearly the same time, and as they do, he can’t help but notice how she lets out a big satisfied sigh.

“This place was good,” she says. “I’d like to go back someday.”

He sets down his spoon with a smile. “Me too.”

  
  


**_Six for gold_ **

She’s never been an outdoor person, and she doesn’t believe she ever will be, but right now, she thinks that she can almost understand the appeal. Maybe it’s the way the vibrancy of the landscape makes her problems feel a bit more distant, or the way the view is a refreshing contrast to her usual surroundings, but she finds herself actually enjoying the moment as she walks beside him in the flower garden.

“Are you sure you want just this?” he says. “This isn’t...”

She shrugs. “Amu couldn’t make it, so I have to settle with just you.”

“Ah, I meant... This isn’t the most ambitious birthday wish. You can ask for more, you know.”

“There’s nothing else I want.” She turns her gaze back to the path in front of them. The ground is scattered with fallen flower petals, dappled with pinks and peaches and purples, and she feels a bittersweet sting in her chest.

He lets out a small hum in what sounds like acceptance, and they walk in silence.

“My parents were supposed to take me here,” she then says, perhaps a bit suddenly, as they make their way down the path. “In grade six, they promised to go here with me before I graduated elementary school, to make up for not being able to celebrate my birthday.”

She keeps her gaze fixed on the pathway in front of her, but from the corner of her vision, she sees him glance at her.

“Then the divorce was settled. And now we’re about to graduate junior high, and it still never happened.” The pain isn’t nearly as fresh, but her words still leave the bitter echo of an ache inside her. She turns to him. “But I’ve always wanted to come here and go flower viewing. That’s why I want this.”

“I see.” His face softens, the amber of his gaze glowing almost gold under the sunlight. “If I can cheer you up a bit by being here, then it’s worth it.”

“But it’s only because Amu was busy today that I asked you.” She lets out a huff. “Otherwise, there’s no reason for me to want to be with _you_ specifically.”

“Right, right.” He laughs. “Well, let’s just enjoy the trip while we’re here.”

She knows that he doesn’t believe what she said.

She doesn’t believe it either. Because before they realized it, she’s come to know his secrets, he’s come to know her sorrows, and she knows—she’s always had a reason to want to be with him.

  
  


**_Seven for a secret_ ** **_  
_ ** **_never to be told_ **

He’s always known it would turn out like this. No matter how he could’ve told Amu, she was going to feel shocked and betrayed that he kept this secret from her for so long. But even then, as he saw the pain flash in his friend’s eyes and heard the shake in her voice, no amount of planning or predictions could’ve stopped the guilt and pain from twisting inside his chest.

He isn’t sure how long he’s been sitting on this bench—Five minutes? Seven? Fifteen? Thirty? He should go home. He already told Amu the truth, and she already left him with tears shimmering in her eyes, so there’s no more reason for him to be still at school.

“So you actually did it.”

He doesn’t need to turn around to know who that voice belongs to, but he does so anyway.

“Yeah. I did.” He manages a weak smile. “And you were right.”

She looks as composed as always, but there’s a frown on her lips and a slight furrow of her brow. “About what?”

“About Amu. It really was hurting her the entire time. And it hurt her even more, when I told her the truth so late like this.”

“I see.”

And then, before he can reply, she walks up to the bench and sits down. 

“And I was also right about you,” she says, turning to face him. “It hurts for you, too.”

Instinctively, a protest rises inside him, but then as she stares at him, he feels it fade, the desire to brush it off getting replaced by weariness.

“Yeah,” he says softly instead, as she settles down on the bench beside him. “It... does.”

Vaguely, he realizes that this scene is familiar—he’s found himself with her in this exact same situation before, long, long ago, only with different roles. But deep inside, it’s not surprise he feels, but acceptance _._ Because before they realized it, she’s come to know his secrets, he’s come to know her sorrows, and they’ve come to lean on each other, turn to each other, reach for each other to find comfort and warmth and stability and—

He realizes that she’s sitting so close to him that their shoulders are brushing, and it’s all he can do to stop himself from just leaning into her right then and there.

 _—and maybe something more,_ are the words that he almost feels like he can hear. 

  
  


**_Eight for a wish_ **

Long ago, before they even attended junior high school, he told her that his future was uncertain, that he couldn’t make a decision yet, and she scoffed at how he couldn’t make up his mind. Now, they’ve left junior high some time ago, yet she almost feels like he made up his mind too soon.

“I’ll be studying dance there for eight months,” he’s saying to her. “I know it’s a long while, but I do think that it’s the right decision for me.”

“Oh, okay.” It’s about all she can say in the face of this news. She wonders if he also feels this sting at the thought of being away for so long, or if it’s just her.

“And ever since I told Amu the truth, I think it’s helped me come to terms with what I want.” He glances at her, smiling almost hesitatingly. “So I have you to thank for that.”

“You did the actual work of telling her. All I did was be passive-aggressive for a bit during junior high.”

“Well, that’s true.” He chuckles. “But I also meant... after that.”

And even though it’s been so long since that day, she’s able to recall it with perfect clarity. She never saw him so defeated before, so distressed _,_ and it was something she was unfamiliar with. But she also recalled a distant, similar scene, where she was the one sitting alone on the bench, and then her actions came to her almost naturally. 

She didn’t need to say anything, because she knew that just her presence was enough. Just like it was with him, for her. Because somehow, they’ve become each others’ stability, anchors for the storms and tremors that swept through their lives. Only now, she’ll soon find herself without that stability.

“Oh,” he says, “I almost forgot—is there anything you’re wishing for?”

“Wait, why?”

“Since I’m going to be abroad anyway, I might as well get you guys some gifts. Amu wanted some stuff from Europe, and Yaya already made a list of all the foreign candies she wants me to get her.”

“I wish you could come back sooner.”

“What?”

She turns to him with a smile. “I’ve always wanted some designer boots, actually. I’ll pay you back.”

  
  


**_Nine for a kiss_ **

It was supposed to be a quick goodbye, and it had been for the most part, because by the time they arrived at the airport, it was nearly nine and his plane was about to leave. He already said his farewells to all his friends, to _her_ , too, and he was right about to pass through the gates to board the plane when he was stopped by her voice.

“Nagihiko.”

He doesn’t know why she’s still here, what more she wants to say, but the sound of her voice—so soft, so _familiar—_ sends through him a flit of both comfort and longing. She’s always been with him, always been a constant presence steady at his side, and soon, he’ll find himself without it all.

He turns to her. “Rima? What’s wrong?”

“I know you’re leaving, but... It’s just that—”

There’s a pause as something ripples across her expression, and he can’t quite tell what it is. He opens his mouth, hoping to ask her what it is she’s trying to tell him, because he doesn’t know how much longer he can stand to be here with her when he _knows_ he’s about to be gone, when there’s a million more words he’d die to say—

And then she pulls him down and presses their lips together and suddenly the importance of words is nonexistent to the flutter that dances through him, and when she pulls back, all he can see is _her,_ the blush on her cheeks, the honey in her eyes, the gold of her hair.

“I—” Through the shock and elation, a breathless laugh leaves his mouth. “Rima, _now_ of all times to—”

“Shut up,” she whispers, and then kisses him again. “Let me have this before you go to stupid Europe and buy some stupid boots.” Her words are a murmur against his lips.

 _There are people watching us,_ he thinks dazedly, but for now, he lets himself melt into the comfort of her warmth.

  
  


**_Ten for a bird_ ** **_  
_ ** **_you must not miss_ **

It’s so early that the cold morning sky is just beginning to warm up with hues of gold and amber and she can hear birdsong faintly ringing out in the air. Under normal circumstances, she would’ve kept up her usually demeanor of indifference, or maybe even reluctance. 

But as she enters the airport and finds a spot in the waiting area, she can’t help but check the time. Then check it again, ten seconds later, as any desire to maintain her usual image of aloofness is replaced by this flutter of anticipation, worry, hope, and a million other emotions she can’t bother to identify.

When he finally walks through the gates, she realizes that he looks the same as the day he left. And when they lock gazes and a smile—that serene smile, so unchanged and so beautiful—breaks his face, the world is gone and she’s rushing towards him.

He catches her in his arms and she pulls him into a tight hug. His body shakes with a chuckle.

“Missed me?”

“No.”

 _So much so,_ she doesn’t say as she buries her face into his shoulder and lets herself melt into him, feel the steady rhythm of his pulse, breathe in his warmth. 

One of his hands presses into her back as he returns her embrace, his hold on her gentle but steady—just like his unwavering presence that’s always by her side, that she’s grown to find comfort in, to appreciate, to _love._

“I missed you, too.”

**Author's Note:**

> oh man, I thought I was over Shugo Chara, but then a month ago my brain just went NOPE and made me fall back into my sixth-grade Shugo Chara nostalgia, full-force... which of course includes Rimahiko, my og OTP because I LOVE THEM :') And then I stumbled across this magpie poem, and I was like "wait I can turn this into Rimahiko" and then yep, this happened LOL But also, this is such a sweet throwback for me, not only because of the nostalgia, but also because some of the first fanfic I ever wrote was for Rimahiko (most notably Pay Me Back) and it's just... WOW. Three years? It feels like it's been both a long time and not that long? But regardless, seeing how my writing's evolved is really interesting for me. I wanted to be a bit more experimental with this fic too, and I guess we just end up with this thing where I try hard to be poetic HAHA but in all honesty, I'm happy with this, and I'm so glad I was able to write this out despite school being kinda busy!
> 
> But anyways, thank you for reading, and I hope you enjoyed!
> 
> And side note, for anybody still reading Shugo Chara fics in 2021 LOL (hello btw! nostalgia too powerful, am I right?) there's apparently gonna be a new Shugo Chara story by Peach-Pit that's gonna be published on March 3rd this year? Lowkey this is the highlight of my year, and I don't know what it's going to be about or how long it is, but I am VIOLENTLY praying to be able to see Nagi and Rima, if even only for a little bit. Peach-Pit PLEEEAAAASE I AM GOING TO CRY FROM JOY IF WE GET TO SEE THEM AGAIN
> 
> okay that's all. If you're still here, thank you for reading once again! Love you ;0


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